It's okay to say 'no'


"Are you sure you don't mind driving me to the airport THAT early?"

"Can you come round to mine instead?"

"You're okay with this right?"

"Are you ready to order because I am..."

"Could you do this for me?"

When did you last deliver a solid "No" to any one of the above questions? That "No" you delivered with a respectful but final tone to let the asker know you definitely didn't plan on changing your mind anytime soon. If it's been a while since you declined someone's request for you to do something for them, and if at the same time, you felt super stretched from all corners of life, you may want to take a step back to reconsider how you're approaching certain aspects of your life.




What you may not realise is you're actually making someone else's life a hell of a lot easier, and in the process making yours a lot tougher to handle. Why do we feel like we can't say no? Why have we almost been trained to automatically answer yes to most questions or requests? And perhaps a more personal question to myself - why am I so afraid to disappoint all the time?




I used to admire people who were brave enough to admit when they weren't comfortable or in total agreement with an arrangement. I'd sit there in admiration, wondering how they made it look so easy, yet I continued to stay in my uncomfortable space, with my yeses and head nods when all along, I was fuming at them from behind the scenes.


 

I've spent the most part of my life saying yes to things, even when it meant I was being taxed more than necessary. I stopped progressing because I was so busy pleasing friends and loved ones and I would often find myself on my last few pennies when people needed favours or simply wanted to splurge with me on a night out. Despite knowing I was in no position to offer up certain parts of myself, I went against my instinct and succumbed to the requests to avoid any disappointed faces.


Looking back, I realise now that I could have saved myself a ton of time, money, energy and disappointment if I had only learnt about the art of saying 'no' all those years ago. But this isn't supposed to be a punishing session, but more a moment of realisation that we shouldn't feel pressured to do anything in life. In fact, you start realising who your real friends and supporters are when they prove how much they accept you for YOU... that friend who doesn't mind delivering a big fat 'no' when it's necessary.

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